This is how I secretly thought I would become after a few years with oestrogen and progesterone… Obviously I never did (at least not between the hips and the chin… These full breasts and wasp waist I pictured were unattainable and, so, just wishful thinking) — On the other hand, I am really glad my legs are slimmer and longer than drawn 🙂
I show two versions: in the first one, well tucked, and in the second, untucked (but conveniently limp and small – still quite girlish) under the panties. Looking at these sketches, I realize I had some sluttish mind back then, as much as I have now… No remedy for me with regard to this point.
When a trans-woman at any age is not accepted as a valid woman -except for fetishist sex-, and is often despised and abused, the natural trend is to feel deeply offended, angry, vindictive, anxious, hurt, sick…, which may lead to self-harm (or, too often, self-destruction) and/or a kind of histrionism or cheeky behaviour; sometimes a borderline behaviour. That’s why quite a few persons into transition, end up overdoing it and becoming sluts out of spite –as much as out of necessity when they are denied other jobs!–. This happens once and again, and it is the reason many t-women are in some way resented exhibitionists, or sex-workers, or drug addicts… not to recall the nasty popular names we have been called in all epochs in most places of the world.
I try to mean that, for transfeminine persons (I for one!), “passing” all right, with honours, has secretly become a first goal. To be more girly than any cis-girl, to become even extremely submissive and anti-feminist, in some instances… It is sad and self-humiliating, and some never recognize it, but it is a fact that in my case, to a great measure (if not at all) explains things I thought and did and think and do, and of course, also these drawings I made even before clearly thinking and doing some of these things.
Enough talk 🙂 These are my drawings with all their fantasy and regretable exhibitionism:
No unauthorised copying or redistribution. All Rights Reserved.