My personal graphic work (2) – Whole portraits, with and without red decoys

This is how I secretly thought I would become after a few years with oestrogen and progesterone… Obviously I never did (at least not between the hips and the chin… These full breasts and wasp waist I pictured were unattainable and, so, just wishful thinking) — On the other hand, I am really glad my legs are slimmer and longer than drawn 🙂

I show two versions: in the first one, well tucked, and in the second, untucked (but conveniently limp and small – still quite girlish) under the panties. Looking at these sketches, I realize I had some sluttish mind back then, as much as I have now… No remedy for me with regard to this point.

When a trans-woman at any age is not accepted as a valid woman -except for fetishist sex-, and is often despised and abused, the natural trend is to feel deeply offended, angry, vindictive, anxious, hurt, sick…, which may lead to self-harm (or, too often, self-destruction) and/or a kind of histrionism or cheeky behaviour; sometimes a borderline behaviour. That’s why quite a few persons into transition, end up overdoing it and becoming sluts out of spite –as much as out of necessity when they are denied other jobs!–. This happens once and again, and it is the reason many t-women are in some way resented exhibitionists, or sex-workers, or drug addicts… not to recall the nasty popular names we have been called in all epochs in most places of the world.

I try to mean that, for transfeminine persons (I for one!), “passing” all right, with honours, has secretly become a first goal. To be more girly than any cis-girl, to become even extremely submissive and anti-feminist, in some instances… It is sad and self-humiliating, and some never recognize it, but it is a fact that in my case, to a great measure (if not at all) explains things I thought and did and think and do, and of course, also these drawings I made even before clearly thinking and doing some of these things.

Enough talk 🙂 These are my drawings with all their fantasy and regretable exhibitionism:

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14 thoughts on “My personal graphic work (2) – Whole portraits, with and without red decoys

    1. Oops :/ you would make me blush if you were not a peer and supporting sis 😉
      At that age I had I drew more inspiration from drawings than from my real looks and the clothes I dared to wear sometimes. I just wish I had been mature enough to portrait myself as I was – it would be a lot more interesting to me and others. (the tiny breasts and big feet and all the rest) I will do it someday out of some pics I keep from then: a fag in a big mess as I was :/

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’ll let you in on a secret: no one is self controlled and mature when puberty sets in. For girls like us, it only makes things worse because the signals are even more crossed. Story goes, it’s never too late to create a portrait that reflects your understanding or wish fulfillment as it is currently.

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        1. Thanks for your words 🙂 ! In fact, I have shown true pics as I am nowadays, and even long ago, in another blog and other websites, but I have always had to make them private due to my family and my last partner’s pressure, because I tend to be too unashamed.
          *Hugs ! * talk to you asap privately !!

          Liked by 2 people

    1. Big Thanks, Glen 💐 You are a gentleman; extremely kind as usual ! I try to be transparent (sometimes a bit in excess :)), but maturity is not my stronger asset; I’m just getting old. (((Big Hug)) – ((💋))

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    1. Big Thanks, Dear ❤ ✨ !! — You know I love you. As for my words… I wish I knew more and were capable to use them better in English. Anyway it makes me happy to know that you, native English-speaking people, understand me very well and accept so gently my efforts :)) ((My most embarrassing KISSSSEEESSSSSSS 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 …))

      Liked by 1 person

  1. My Dearest Sister! Your art is amazing, but I’m going to let you in on my secret. I’ve tried to draw myself that way – powerful, slender, strong and super feminine. I think it’s a healthy way to visualize what your hopes are, where you dream. And if I could look like that – I’d be kicking some serious butt.

    No more calling yourself slut! *shakes my finger at you* You are far too refined in heart and mind for that kind of talk!
    *hugs, kisses and a wee bit of envy at your beautiful drawing skills* 💋💋💋💋💋💋❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh, Good Grief! I’m again moved by every word you gift me. I’m reassured to know you -a cis-girl- have pictured (even drawn) yourself too as a superwoman and do not consider I’m a frustrated idiot to have fantasized about my dreamt body 🙂
      I love a lot your admonition and your finger-shaking at me. Honest!!! But I do not despise “sluts”, I have known quite a few –some almost angelical–, and I do not feel ashamed of having been one for a while. Selling one’s heart and good-will, as many “worthy” people do, is much worse than selling (in fact, just hiring) one’s bits and holes for a while, and for a basic reason as is keeping a roof and having food in the freezer.
      Never worry for my occasional retreats to myself and to some dear ones for this. According to my experience, sluts and traps use to be much more decent and clean than many puritans, and (like you tell wonderfully in your last post) haters. I mean I would rather share my time and home with a slut than with a politician or religious leader… Prostitution does not ever begin in the cunt or butt, but in the soul.
      ((( THANKS AND KISSSSEEESSSSSSS 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 …)) ((Lovingly))

      Liked by 1 person

      1. See? Now you make me all sniffles and wet eyed. I do love you, so much. I’m just going to have to wrap my head around your word choice and disassociate myself from the negative connotations.

        ❤❤❤❤💖💖💖💖💋💋💋💋😘😘😘😘

        Liked by 1 person

        1. :)) That’s, most probably, because I do not master English as you do… I oftentimes use words accordind to my idea of their meaning in Catalan or other languages I know much better. Not your fault, Dear, if my word choice is not right enough.
          Love !! , and all these cuddles in the bathtub. I like much to have a sweet open-minded friend with me in a bathtub to have some fun.

          Like

  2. :)) That’s, most probably, because I do not master English as you do… I oftentimes use words accordind to my idea of their meaning in Catalan or other languages I know much better. Not your fault, Dear, if my word choice is not right enough.
    Love !! , and all these cuddles in the bathtub. I like much to have a sweet open-minded friend with me in a bathtub to have some fun.

    Like

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